Moving from controlling to communicating with our horses

Over the years as a horse rider I have been told a lot that my horse lacks submission.

Anyone who hasn’t heard “needing more submission”, hasn’t been in a competition. Even outside the ring we can hear from our peers how naughty they think our horse is being.

And it can leave us with a feeling of ineptitude that our horse may act out and not do exactly as they are told.

When we get into the dressage ring, our horse being “on the bit” is also considered a sign of submission and our horse even being slightly in front of the bit considered lack of submission.

I actually got to a point with my riding where I thought I wasn’t in control of my horse if it wasn’t “on the bit”. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. We see plenty of riders who are perfectly in control of their horse and it works in front of the vertical.

In fact working our horse incorrectly on the bit actually can create less submission because our cues get muddled up and our horse can’t differentiate between more frame and the brakes.

One of the places I like to get my students to is comfortably letting go of their horses mouth and riding them on the buckle in all paces. It also helps if you are comfortable riding your horse at the fastest that it can go so we’re not holding them back for fear of speed. When we come from a place of controlling our horses, they tend to actually behave worse fighting with us. When we let our horses go and trust that they will still listen we can start working on our communication and therefore willingness.

When we look at communication this is where we use our aids to cue and talk to our horses instead of control what they are doing.

The most important part of communication is not telling the horse what to do but what they are saying in response. If they aren’t responding with a yes to our aid, why? How can we change that no to a yes? Or is our horse trying to tell us something?

When we focus on communication we are giving the horse permission to say no. When we are controlling our horse we are giving them no option but to say yes. And this is problem when they actually have a good reason for no. They are sore, they don’t understand, they have ulcers, they need their teeth done, they can’t physically do what we are asking of them are just some of the perfectly acceptable reasons for our horse to say no and reasons why a horses behaviour may escalate.

One of the ways we broach communication and the option to say no whilst maintaining manners and discipline to still be respectful of us is consent. We teach our horses a cue that they can give us to tell us when they are ready for the next ask or if they need time to process the previous ask. It also helps us to differentiate between the times they are challenging us and taking the piss and the times where they actually need us to help them understand, or to slow down or that they have a legitimate problem that needs addressing.

Do you need help with your horse? We have a free group where can get the support and ask the questions that will help you open the pathway of communication and develop a deeper connection with your horse. Join it here!